i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Someone signed my nipple.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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