he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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