I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
