i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
