i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
that's an acceptable place to lick
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
