we're chasing vodka with high fives
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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