Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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