who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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