I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
What drink are we having for lunch?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
