im drinking this country out of the recession.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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