i think my tv is drunk
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
