this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
