how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
