i don't like sucking hair
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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