Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i drank out of a bidet.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
