So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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