i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
