Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I didn't shave. On purpose
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
