i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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