just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
