You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
