haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
