The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
time to smoke my breakfast
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
No subtext here. People are naked.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I have aggressive nipples.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize