If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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