I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
