where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
