Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
