Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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