I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
