Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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