i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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