forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
