Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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