We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
