are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
