i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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