garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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