someone owes me an orgasm
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
