As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
