I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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