Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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