Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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