Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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