arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
