If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
