VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
