woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
