Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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