I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
