Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
