Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize