okay pat passed out under dana's car
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
