Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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