Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize