When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize