Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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