idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
