so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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