She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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