we made out on top of his cat.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
