If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
