I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
