I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
