Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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