Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
